The Burberry Act

21 Oct

You might think that given my ignorance of the local language (I’m trying, I really am) I would be tolerant of others trying to speak English. Whilst I have never really found that bizarre policeman in ‘Allo ‘Allo particularly amusing, I do enjoy the odd accent induced innuendo or strangeness. Last night I was subjected to a range of locals laughing hysterically at my attempts to speak Mandarin. So I need make no apologies for this post. Today I was subjected to a training course on the UK’s newish (anti-)bribery act, informing me not to accept bribes lest I be fined and imprisoned for evermore. The inevitable question is what constitutes a bribe and what is acceptable business behaviour. In the UK the meeting would have been extended by 30 minutes or more as people invented the most ridiculous, contrived situations to test the patience of whoever was providing  the training.
“What if my mother worked for our biggest supplier and bought me a Christmas present? Do I need to declare that?”

Anyway, I digress. The giver of the training was local to the small town of Asia and insisted on pronouncing bribery as Burberry. I didn’t hear much of the following 30 minutes as my mind wondered about the UK’s new Burberry act. I was pretty sure I hadn’t seen anything on the BBC website but I was left wondering if, when I return home at Christmas, I am required by law to wear at least one piece of beige tartan. Do let me know …


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